I’ve always struggled with showing grace toward people in certain situations. In my mind, people should just know how to treat others with kindness, respect, and consideration. Shouldn’t emotional intelligence be common sense? Shouldn’t people just understand that their words and actions affect others? Yet, time and time again, I’m reminded that this is not the case.
It’s frustrating when people act selfishly, when they seem unaware of the hurt they cause, or when they lack the basic courtesy we expect in relationships. And yet, as much as I want people to “just get it,” I have to remember—grace is what God has given me, despite my own flaws, blind spots, and shortcomings.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
Grace in relationships is not about allowing ourselves to be walked over, nor is it about ignoring wrongs. Instead, it’s about choosing love over resentment, understanding over judgment, and forgiveness over bitterness.
At the core of grace is love—not the easy kind that flows when everything is going well, but the intentional kind that chooses patience, kindness, and humility even when it’s difficult. Christ is our greatest example of this. He loved the unlovable, showed compassion to sinners, and extended mercy to those who betrayed Him.
But let’s be real: It’s hard to extend grace when people don’t seem to deserve it.
When someone is rude, our first instinct is to match their energy.
When a friend betrays our trust, our natural response is to shut down.
When people lack self-awareness and are inconsiderate, we want to correct them—or at least wish they’d figure it out on their own.
Yet, Christ never required people to fully understand or deserve His love before He gave it to them. He simply chose to love.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
If we want to reflect Jesus in our relationships, we must learn to love beyond convenience. Love that mirrors Christ doesn’t keep score, seek revenge, or hold grudges. It looks for ways to bring peace, even when it would be easier to walk away.
Conflict is inevitable. Even the best relationships will face disagreements, frustrations, and moments of hurt. The difference between a broken relationship and a restored one often comes down to one thing: grace.
The world teaches us to “win” arguments, but Christ teaches us to seek peace:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18
Grace doesn’t mean avoiding conflict—it means approaching it with humility and wisdom. Instead of:
Speaking harshly, we listen first.
Assuming the worst, we give the benefit of the doubt.
Holding onto grudges, we forgive and release.
But what about when people continue to act selfishly or hurtfully?
That’s where wisdom comes in. Extending grace doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, but it does mean handling conflict in a way that honors God rather than our pride.
One of the hardest aspects of grace is forgiveness. When we’ve been wronged, our natural instinct is to hold onto hurt. But unforgiveness is a heavy burden—it keeps us tied to pain, prevents healing, and distances us from God’s peace.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
Jesus didn’t just preach forgiveness—He lived it. As He hung on the cross, He prayed for those who put Him there: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If Christ could forgive those who crucified Him, can we not also choose to forgive those who have hurt us?
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting—it’s about releasing the hold that hurt has on us. It’s a gift we give ourselves as much as the other person.
While we are called to extend grace, we are not called to tolerate abusive or toxic behavior. Jesus was full of grace, but He also set boundaries. He didn’t allow the Pharisees to manipulate Him, nor did He enable unhealthy relationships.
“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” – Proverbs 22:3
Grace and wisdom go hand in hand. We can:
Forgive without enabling harmful patterns.
Love without allowing ourselves to be mistreated.
Be kind without being taken advantage of.
Some people may never fully grasp emotional intelligence, consideration, or how their words and actions affect others. We can’t force them to “get it.” But we can choose to handle those relationships with wisdom, setting boundaries when needed while still extending kindness.
Healthy relationships require mutual respect and accountability. Extending grace does not mean allowing others to hurt us repeatedly—it means handling situations with wisdom and love.
I may never understand why some people lack the ability to be emotionally aware or considerate of others. But I do know this—God didn’t wait for me to “get it” before He extended grace to me. And He calls me to do the same for others.
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6
Today, let’s ask ourselves:
Where can I extend grace in my relationships?
Is there someone I need to forgive?
How can I balance love with wisdom?
May we be people who choose grace over resentment, love over pride, and peace over division. Even when others don’t “get it,” may we reflect the heart of Christ in the way we love.
With love and encouragement,
Mizz Ma’am
